When every thought is arrested and redirected towards the beloved of our heart
When every decision is weighed against the goal of union with our beloved
When one questions the purpose of one's own existence without that beloved
This is the path of the saints. And they want us to have this experience.
But like wounded animals, we resist, we fight, we snap, we snarl. We're afraid of what we don’t know.
And they say we need to surrender to ..... to .... what?
To a blackness? To a nothing?
If we don't know, we don't know.
But then something pushes us beyond what we feel capable of handling ourselves. We can "fall upward" or fight tooth and nail for "self"-preservation.
And then someone comes into our hearts to remind us what love is. The heart is choreographed once again with the dance of gratitude and appreciation. I once drank this in gulps, but now I take long slow thankful sips. Kṛṣṇa is here. How wonderful.
Could we surrender into the arms of this beloved? We have so much evidence of how Kṛṣṇa personally cares for us. Kṛṣṇa wants the particular flavor of love that only we can provide.
If you know, you know.
Am I loved? Yes.
Am I lovable? I'm not sure why, but ..... YES!
I just want to love Kṛṣṇa back.
And that's a mission I can surrender to.
Suburban Mysticism is free, but if you feel inspired and want to return some love, consider helping Ekendra to care for cows, or share the article with others.